So, carrying on from yesterdays “This is who I am and where I’ve come from” post, Its 1999, James is one years old and I’m taking an ITEC in beauty therapy and Make -up to try improve our lives. I did try going to college to carry on studying law ( I had studying a little law before and had enrolled on an evening course to train as a legal executive but found it hard to find baby sitters) so this course was ideal… James was happy in the creche one day a week and I had time out to study and learn without my baby screaming or climbing everywhere!
Anyway – it was all going well and then I found out I was pregnant again from a condom that must of split. I was in a relationship but it wasn’t a secure one. So I had to make one of the worst decisions in my life and decided I couldn’t have the baby as I really wouldn’t of been able to cope with two children under 3 as my own mental health wasn’t good and I was under the mental health people for my depression and also my General Anxiety Disorder. So it was decided I would have a termination. So I spent seeing the new millennium in feeling sick with morning sickness and also knowing I was going to have an operation in a few days time of which I was in two minds about. I was so upset about the whole thing that I even had a massive panic attack when they put me under as I was still unsure… it was too late when I woke up. I lay in that hospital and made a pact with myself that I would sort my life out from then and that I didn’t go through that procedure for nothing.
So, after getting over the operation (although I don’t think you really do get over something like this) I went on and got a distinction in my exams.. and decided I wanted to be a professional Makeup artist so after researching down the library (I didn’t have internet or a computer) about courses , I applied to London college of Fashion to study on their Access to Fashion and Media make-up course. I went for the interview and was overwhelmed when I found out I had been accepted! However, with the acceptance letter there also came a huge list of things to buy needed to attend the course. Hairdressing kits, Make up kits, reading list and art equipment. And there was the train fare to London and child sitting fees. Shit.
To be continued …
Thought I’d write a personal blog today about me and a brief history of my life prior to Madam Popoff Vintage and also why I am as I am (ha ha)
So, I’ve been selling vintage for 13 years now. I first started on eBay, and got my first shop 6 years ago. I think people are aware of the whole story with regards to the start of Popoffs, but shit hasn’t been easy and I’ve been fighting for the last 18 years with all sorts of shit. As they say “What doesn’t kill ya makes you stronger…” And to be honest I’m surprised I haven’t ended up dribbling in the fetal position in a hospital somewhere!
I guess my real story begins when my son James was born in Queen Marys hospital on 24th April 1998. That in itself was a nightmare. Not only did James not want to come out ( he was two weeks late) but then he decided to cause me to haemorrhage on his way out ( he was 9lb 7 so a bit of a bruiser) causing me lose over a litre of blood which meant I had to stay in hospital for a week. I refused a transfusion, so was severely anaemic and could barely pick him up when he screamed for milk – which was most of the time ( turns out he is severe adhd but that’s another story).
Anyway – when I saw his little face it was there and then I decided enough was enough it was me and this little soul against the world. I had split up with James dad when pregnant so it was just me and my boy that went back to that 8th floor tower block flat (smack bang in the middle of a notorious estate in Erith) when I came out of hospital. I didn’t have much either, thankfully James Dads Mum and my family and friends got him the essentials but I didn’t even have a hob to cook on so I lived on microwave meals for over a year. James never slept through the night until he was at least a year, so I was sleep deprived as well living in poverty thanks to being on benefits! Fun!
My mum tried to help but as James was so much of a handful she couldn’t cope so wasn’t able to babysit. She had emphysema, agoraphobia and also severe mental health issues so it was impossible for her to do much apart from give me emotional support ( we only bonded when I fell pregnant at 24 as before that I was a bit of a selfish bitch and lost soul) so to have her there was a god send. James Nan the other side was a great help too.
Anyway – I think it was in 1999 that I decided I needed to do something with my life. I loved make up, so decided to attend a make up/ beauty course held in Thamesmead. James was in the creche of which he loved ( he was very advanced for his age – walking at 10 months and climbing all over the place) and I was starting the journey of which brought me here (via a very random path)
To be continued…