So, carrying on from yesterdays “This is who I am and where I’ve come from” post, Its 1999, James is one years old and I’m taking an ITEC in beauty therapy and Make -up to try improve our lives. I did try going to college to carry on studying law ( I had studying a little law before and had enrolled on an evening course to train as a legal executive but found it hard to find baby sitters) so this course was ideal… James was happy in the creche one day a week and I had time out to study and learn without my baby screaming or climbing everywhere!
Anyway – it was all going well and then I found out I was pregnant again from a condom that must of split. I was in a relationship but it wasn’t a secure one. So I had to make one of the worst decisions in my life and decided I couldn’t have the baby as I really wouldn’t of been able to cope with two children under 3 as my own mental health wasn’t good and I was under the mental health people for my depression and also my General Anxiety Disorder. So it was decided I would have a termination. So I spent seeing the new millennium in feeling sick with morning sickness and also knowing I was going to have an operation in a few days time of which I was in two minds about. I was so upset about the whole thing that I even had a massive panic attack when they put me under as I was still unsure… it was too late when I woke up. I lay in that hospital and made a pact with myself that I would sort my life out from then and that I didn’t go through that procedure for nothing.
So, after getting over the operation (although I don’t think you really do get over something like this) I went on and got a distinction in my exams.. and decided I wanted to be a professional Makeup artist so after researching down the library (I didn’t have internet or a computer) about courses , I applied to London college of Fashion to study on their Access to Fashion and Media make-up course. I went for the interview and was overwhelmed when I found out I had been accepted! However, with the acceptance letter there also came a huge list of things to buy needed to attend the course. Hairdressing kits, Make up kits, reading list and art equipment. And there was the train fare to London and child sitting fees. Shit.
To be continued …